“ To be or not to be, IS THAT A QUESTION ?”

    No, this is not a misquote of Shakespeare, it was is a paraphrase by the Old Guy.  I did, as I often do, answer my own question, [I am seldom sure if the answer is correct but I do get an answer] . To be or not to be? Has no real answer. We are who we are and despite our attempts to redefine [or design] ourselves through education, enlightenment (spiritually and emotionally), geographical changes, changes in social groups, etc. We are who we are !
    No mater how much paint you put on the barn, it is still a barn. That is not to say that you should not try to improve your self by any means. Self improvement lets you be who you are.
    My ancestors were and are simple country people, we were not born to royalty or high position we were farmers, merchants, soldiers and preachers. These are of course honorable occupations and important ones. I have relatives who do not want others to know about their humble beginnings in Texas and Oklahoma, we have documented Native American blood and there are some who even deny that.
    While life’s experiences make us what we are, not who we are. Some of the worlds best educated, best looking, most successful people are not very good people. We see examples everyday in the News and in our neighborhoods . People with every opportunity to be good and do good, blow it !All [or most] of us have made some serious BAD choices in our lives.
    Almost 20 years ago I experienced  a “Chemical Dependency” problem [not something furnished by DOW or Johnson & Johnson] . The first in my family [at least that had become public knowledge], one of just a few in my small town [again, Who knows?]. After attempting to “hide” the problem for many months, without success. I lost two businesses, a very nice home, damaged family relationships and experienced legal problems.
    I voluntary entered Rehab. [Seems quite the thing to do today] Although the physic courses I had attended should have led me to a different conclusion I first blamed my associates, then my wife, then my job which supplied me with enough money to get into trouble. After a few weeks of clearer thinking I realized I had a ME problem.
    I came to realize and accept that one “root” problem was that despite my success, my community standing, social position I was still just Plain Old Me.  That was not a bad thing [being ME] what was bad was that I had gotten caught up in, as many do in the “Rat” race. Only to realize that all my competitors were also “Rats”, and “Rats” are cannibals. Once my troubles started most of the “Social and Community Rats” jumped ship. Despite my connections-friends, clients, business associates even relatives I had few visitors while in rehab.
    One couple however set me on my way to recovery in a way , that no matter how many times I tell them will they ever realize how important their visit was. One Sunday  a staff member said , you have some visitors. I went to the day room and there sat a couple from my town whom I actually did not “know” well, I had been their customer and had seen them at local eateries a few times. At first I thought they might be there to see someone else.
    They stood and greeted me, she hugged me and he shook my hand. Their message was that they respected my willingness to get help, stating that they knew many others in our town with a similar problem as mine who would not seek help. They came to see me they said, because behind the facade I had created and the one that had dissolved they saw the real ME and liked what they saw and wanted me to know that.

"To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them?"

 Thanks Bill.