Parenting and Mentoring

This is good advice for Parents of any age; a follow-up on Mother’s Day and a preview for Father’s Day. Good also for anyone mentoring a child or young person, and just general good advice, even for those of us with adult children.

      

I’m not sharing this because I am good at these things but because I have now seen the wisdom in these instructions and want to do better.

Children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5). Children are a heritage from the Lord. Offspring are a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.

The following are some of our responsibilities regarding children-

There are NO perfect parents, but if we follow this advice from GOD’s word we can do a better job.

Most of these overlap and together they form a workable plan.

 

You need to be Available – morning, noon, and night, Moms probably know this best. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7) These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts, Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

You need to be Involved – interacting, discussing, thinking, and processing life together (Ephesians 6:4)  

Fathers, do not exasperate (to cause irritation or annoyance to) your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Don’t tell them one thing and then do another. Be the person you want your children to be.

You need to Teach – the Scriptures and a biblical worldview (Psalm 78:5-6; He (GOD) decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.

PRAY with and for your children. Explain how the world should be and the differences between how things are and how GOD would have them be.

You need to Train – helping a child to develop skills and discover his/her strengths (Proverbs 22:6)   Start children off on the way they should go, when they are old they will not turn from it. 

Have them read from and teach them from the book of Proverbs as soon as they can read.

You need to Discipline – teaching the fear of the Lord, drawing the line consistently, lovingly, firmly Hebrews 12:5-11; And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,“ My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.

Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is CAREFUL to discipline them.

As in Psalms 23, the rod was used to prod and encourage, it is not always referring to spanking. No shepherd would injury their flock(children) intentionally.

You must Nurture them – By providing an environment of constant verbal support, freedom to fail, acceptance, affection, unconditional love (Ephesians 4:29-32);  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Encourage them, teach them “failure is not final”, tell them you love them, and that you love them for who they are, and that you love them no matter what.               

 

You should Model with Integrity – living what you say, being a model from which a child can learn by “catching” the essence of godly living (Deuteronomy 4:9, Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Don’t always tell-show. Think about issues like “white lies” and “Do as I say not as I do”.

 

Fathers be the kind of man you would want your daughter to marry and Moms demonstrate to your sons what to look for in a wife.

 

I hope this has been both enlightening and challenging. The best testimonies are lived not spoken; take a few minutes to examine yours