We have a Guest

In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, We didn't have the green thing back in my day

 That's right, they didn't have the green thing in her day. Back then, they returned their milk bottles, Coke bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, using the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But they didn't have the green thing back her day.

In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks.
But she's right. They didn't have the green thing in her day.

Back then, they washed the baby's diapers because they didn't have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts, wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that old lady is right, they didn't have the green thing back in her day.

Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house, not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a pizza dish, not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn't have electric machines to do everything for you. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used wadded up newspaper to cushion it, not
Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, they didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They exercised by working so they didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right, they didn't have the green thing back then.

They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty, instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled pens with ink, instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But they didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar and kids rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus, instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But they didn't have the green thing back then!

$5.37

That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am , a mere child! Senior citizen?
I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.  Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted!  What am I now? A toddler?
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear-view mirror.
Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat..  Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?"  At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.
Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention.  He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. He offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a  Toyota  Prius.. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.
The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
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Just in case you weren't feeling too old today:
The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1991.
They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
The CD was introduced two years before they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been micro waved.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard:
      'Where's the Beef?',
      'I'd walk a mile for a Camel', or
      'de plane, Boss, de plane'.    

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

PawPaw Was Wrong(about some things)

      My Grandfather was already an old man when I was born, I was the next to the youngest of 21 Grandchildren. I thought he was the wisest and most knowledgeable man alive, an ancient sage and seer who held a worlds worth of wisdom in his words. He, like so many of his generation was full of wise sayings and clever euphemisms, a "country" way of speaking we miss a lot to day. Our manner of speaking has become "Homogenized" which is actually only good for milk.
       He was patient enough with us "Whipper snappers" to explain what these sayings meant. Some of them hold true today but many are no longer correct in this "PC" and "Ultra-tolerant" world. I want to share some of them;

"That fella ain't worth his salt"- Good for nothing (however now days salt is on the BAD list)

"Every dog has his day"- People good or bad get what is coming to them (not so much anymore)

"He don't know S### from Shinola" [shoe polish]- He doesn't know anything worth while (seems everything is well polished nowadays)

"As old as the hills"- Very old.

"Don't give your pearls to the pigs"- Don't give things to people who don't appreciate them.

"As honest as the day is long"- Very honest person.(seems the days are getting shorter)
"Another day another dollar"-another days pay earned(factoring in inflation from the 60's till now it is actually 17 cents) 
"S@@@@in' in tall cotton"- Having things good. 
"If I had my druthers"- If I had things my way.
"To much Sugar for a dime"- Making too big a fuss.

Often he would tell me to get off my high horse,not be too feisty, stop playin with them do-hicky's ,stop piddlein' around, stop carrin' on and stop playin possum , that he aimed-too get some work out of me to earn my keep. He said he would be much obliged if I would just get after it cause we were fixing to go feed the critters.

  In this day of E-Mail, Face book, texting, instant messaging and voice mail we have lost much of the beauty and pleasure of just jawin' at one another.

JUST JABBERIN'

I got it all figured out !

Last night/early AM, I posted what was intended to be a lighthearted comment on what I sense has become a pervasive attitude,perhaps world wide.My feeble and shallow attempt at humor was meant to address the CONSPIRACY PARADIGM; "The sky is falling", a boggy man behind every bush (no pun intended this time),the vast right wing/left wing cabal, visitors from outer/inner space and a dozen other "theories".
Folks, things wax and wane,the pendulum swings, seasonal shifts, Father G-d,Mother Nature,the cycle of life,ebb and flow, good vs evil. The internet, mass media and mans desire to "figure it all out" has caused many to become "Chicken Little's".
For those of the Judeo-Christian ethic-The Great Flood,Tower of Babel. For you Humanist's I give you-The Ice Age and Global Warming.. No mater your world view or political prerogative .YOU AIN'T GITTIN' OUT ALIVE."Que,Sera,Sera"

When I'am 64

Having received notice of my 45th High School Reunion, ( yea, I know it is a long time) I began again to ruminate about what has taken place during that time and to look at where we all are now.
Personally as with everyone I have had my ups and downs, twists and turns and stops and starts. I have been “Dealt a bad hand” a few times but most often I have drawn the wrong cards my self, throwing away good ones and or just playing it wrong.( I have no idea where the card playing analogy comes from I really don’t play cards).
What has interested me most is the realization that 40-45 years ago a real change came about in America and therefore by association the world in general. What triggered it ? I for one do not have the answer, however I can point to some things which might have been factors;
1- Supreme Court ruling on Prayer in school. 2- Vietnam War and associated Peace movement. 3- Rapid expansion of drug culture and the associated Hippie movement. 4- “Rights” movements, woman’s, civil, gay etc-we became a nation no longer joined by the inalienable rights already established, but by special interest groups trying to cut out a specific piece of the pie.5- Subtitle economic changes and the “Feminist” Movement which made double income families necessary and “desirable” oft times removing from the home the nurturing parent. I have no idea which of these is most likely the culprit , I believe it is a combination of some or all.
During this period the divorce rate climbed, as did crime and the number of people living below the poverty level. The government at attempted to control some of this by instituting new entitlement programs, ie The Great Society. We have had seven declared recessions, four oil shortages (we are the largest consumer of petroleum products in the world), at least ten Military Missions (Wars, conflicts, etc) and have US forces deployed in over one hundred and fifty countries today, with an all volunteer military.
Despite all the negative things said about our country. Request to immigrate are at an all time high and illegal emigration is a joke. Per capatia more forgiven nationals reside in the US than ever before.
Natural and man made disasters, some previously unmatched are occurring in more diverse places than ever before and without the resources to help in many cases. We are spending personally and governmental at an all time high with NO end in sight. Home foreclosures, the stock market debacle and corporate and individual greed is uncontrollable.
THE PARTY IS OVER, ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING we can no longer say, “Laissez le Bontemps rouler”( let the good times roll) (Cajun)
Indigenous peoples all over the world are conducting “cleansing” rituals and I know personally of many Native American groups who are singing their death songs.
Perhaps the Biblical predictions and admonitions should be recognized for their literal value if nothing else, we have become pervasive and permissive. The was a time when people could and did have the Guts to say what they felt and the gumption to defend it. Political leaders were admired and respected and honored, yes they are just people too, but to whom much is given much is required.
Do I have an answer? no, I am still looking, I just thought you might.