BOGGED DOWN !

Id, ego, and super-ego are the three parts of the psychic apparatus defined in Sigmund Freud's structural model of the psyche; they are the three theoretical constructs in terms of whose activity and interaction mental life is described. According to this model of the psyche, the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the ego is the organized, realistic part; and the super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role

    I am  going to S..L..O..W..L..Y  come out of hibernation. I discovered that I had become a "BEAR" so I have picked the correct terminology I believe. I had 'retreated' to a 'cave' called the internet and like a few other things in my life."I never thought it would happen to me" !.
After retiring last year and moving back to Louisiana I stayed busy the first few months, I worked the Census and began working as an actor and Movie extra. I do not have a place here to work on my wood carving or other such projects which had initially kept me busy while still in Arizona. I have always had a strong ID,EGO,SUPER-EGO and generally not subject to cyclical ups and downs that many people experience.
    Others have defined me as a 'rock, the proverbial  'duck' from whose back water runs, unflappable, stalwart, strong and stable.In the past 18 months I have experienced a number of the 'events' that doctors and physiologists list as events which can impact a persons 'physique' in significant ways. Death of a parent, moving, change in employment, family illness or serious injury,death of a friend and maybe a couple of others. I 'handled' these events with little obvious effect.I did not realize I had a problem, while I might have recognized the symptoms in others, it took a while before I saw mine.In fact it was only through an  ' intervention' by several family and friends that I began to see the light. My Son insisted I take a drive with him and he gave me the old "FUTA"  [foot up the a##] speech.
Despite Writing a BLOG, maintaining a Website, and some work I- HAD BECOME DEPRESSED.
Signs and Symptoms- sleeping too much [everybody deserves a nap], not eating [hard to believe for many who know me],  lack of attention to personal hygiene ["TMI", I know, this is the one i finally became aware of]. becoming anti-social. [not old Herbie]. when I left my house, even to visit family I became anxious and wanted to get back home to my computer. I was not surfing porn sites as happens to many, but became addicted to reading the news, blogging, Facebooking and maintaining my website.
Treatment- Complete medical and mental health evaluation [so far so good], establish a new routine [up by 7 am, shower, shave, dress].Leave house for at least one hour morning and afternoon,exercise [OMG not that] regular meal times [eat whether you are hungry or not]
  Schedule and maintain COMPUTER time. I will use the computer for one hour each AM and PM, answer E-Mails and Facebook messages and write my weekly BLOG. Only post comments which are too funny to pass up, I will not be drawn into useless debates on sensitive subjects, avoiding casting pearls before swine.
  I POST THIS IN HOPES OF HELPING OTHERS WHO MAY BE IN DANGER, CHECK YOUR SELF, THE COMPUTER IS A WONDERFUL TOOL BUT A POOR COMPANION.

They Can't Do That !

PREJUDICE -[1]- Preconceived judgment or opinion [2]- an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge. 

* [please note that as per definition [2], it can be reversed when given the correct information and proper  education]

Synonyms: favor, partiality, partisanship, ply, bias, tendentiousness

Antonyms: impartiality, neutrality, objectivity, open-mindedness, 

      I believe I am open minded,  I believe most of the antonyms listed apply to me. I am fairly well educated, well traveled, I have a keen interest in Sociology, Anthropology and History.however I have discovered that many of us, including myself ARE prejudice regardless of what we may think or how 'cultured' we may be.
      I know that in many cases, and in fact I want to believe that among those people I count as friends it [prejudice] occurs subconsciously.
     EXAMPLES-
Intelligence-During the recent miraculous rescue of the Chilean miners my Son who is a Paramedic and my Daughter-in-Law who is also a Paramedic and a Nursing student were discussing the medical condition of the men and my son said "I wonder how they knew the one guy had Diabetes.", we had foolishly assumed that because these people, looked different and spoke differently than we that they were somehow less intelligent than us. In further discussion we realized that the people of Chile were a genetic combination of the vast and powerful Spanish Empire and indigenous people who preformed brain surgery with stone implements thousands of years ago when our European Ancestors were still painting on cave walls with their hands.The accident which trapped them was a natural phenomenon while similar accidents in this country are caused by poor mine construction and unsafe operation.
Religion- I am not talking about the historic prejudice which exists between members of the major religious groups in the world but the divisions which exist within each group. Each group has "denominations", "sects" or branches with-in it. This is an area,again, where I have always felt I was above the fray. We all have a specific 'type' of church where we feel most comfortable and are able to receive the teaching and fellowship I know we all need..I have been very vocal about the fact that "denominational-izm" is a serious problem which keeps many out of fellowship and seriously effects individuals and society.Recently we have been experiencing transportation problems and have not been able to attend the church of our 'choice'. SHAME ON ME I live. less than a 'stones throw' from a wonderful church, whose Pastor I respect, which has many members I know and like and is attended by my Son, Daughter-in-Law and two and 8/9's of my Grand Children. Many parents have concerns about their children not attending church and I have allowed long ingrained 'prejudice' prevent me from enjoying hearing G-D's word preached and sharing in Christian Fellowship with my Family.
Gender- This is still a very touchy subject all over the world all 'sides' must admit that physically and emotionally there are vast differences in how information is processed and the actions which result from that process. [please refer to "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"] I consider myself to be very sophisticated and enlightened in regard to gender bias.I do believe that there is a natural and genetic code which assigns specific roles to individuals. For those who hold to the theory of evolution it is clear from observation of various other species including our , supposed closest "relatives" that there are distinct differences between the genders.Differences in reaction and function within the group.While we have made great 'progress' in erasing gender bias in the work place, politics and family roles we must realize that there are vast differences not in intellect but in instinct.

TO BE CONTINUED......

Roger Lee Stearns Sr. In Remembrance.

 
Roger Lee Stearns Sr. In Remembrance. 1947 - 2010

I have made note of the passing of a dear friend in my regular postings,and there has been an outpouring of sympathy and concern for his family and very welcome comments of concern for me which I much appreciate. In my weekly BLOG I have been writing about HEROES of all types and trying to explain who and what I think a HERO is.
     The man who passed away yesterday was a HERO, not just because of his Military Service or any publicly proclaimed accomplishment during his life but because of his life. Roger Lee Stearns Sr. wore some medals from his military service, some for the renegotiation for his work in civilian life. The most important awards he earned are the titles of Child Of GOD, Husband, Father, Grandfather, Brother and Friend.
       He wore his successful Son,And Beautiful Daughters around his neck like Medals of Honor, he always kept us up to date on what they were doing and thereby allowed us to share his joy. His praised his wonderful wife for the care she provided him, and knowing his 'impish' personality she wears a medal as well for being his best friend. She and Roger were married 41 years, that makes both of them HEROES in today's world. Thank You, Regina, Roger said it was love at first sight.
      In High School neither Roger or myself were star athletes, did not drive the fastest cars [although Roger tried] he loved his automobiles. We were not Class Presidents, Homecoming Kings, Most Likely to Succeed [but we did]. We were just guys, not jocks, or 'socise's' or 'nerds', at lunch we hung out at the gym lobby where they sold popcorn and cokes. During Nam we both entered the Army at different times to do what we thought was the right thing as we had been taught. "FATE" if you want to call it that, however Roger and I think a much greater power is at work, reconnected us in Vietnam. My unit was cut off and in grave circumstances, and Rogers unit was sent to assist, which they did, Roger may have saved my life, though at the time neither of us know the other was even in country.
     We reconnected several years ago by E-Mail and the Facebook, which Roger turned me on to. Our daily commenting and jesting back and forth and with others often brightened my day. We shared common political views and an abundant faith in GOD.Roger feared no man or philosophy. What you saw and heard was what he was, take it or leave it, his principles held.
     The last years of his life he was confined in a chair and had numerous  health problems, but he was always lifting others up, his last day here he was proud of becoming a volunteer at a Hospital where he could continue GIVING.He was a BIG man in body soul, mind, heart and spirit. He will live on in the hearts and minds of those he touched. He certainly lives on in mine.Roger we will continue the Battle, as he just posted a few days ago, "WE WERE WINNING WHEN I LEFT'

Never Forget "It's The Dash That Counts" 

How Did You Spend Your Dash?

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning...to the end.

He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth...
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars...the house...the CASH
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard...
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile...
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read
With your life's actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say?
About how you spent your dash?

HERO'S Two

  The people, who each day, often when just as tired as everyone else, just as frustrated at life's troubles as any one else gets up goes to work and gives their best is a Hero in today's world. The one who is still a Hero to their family even when they know they are not perfect. Helps others often at their own expense and I am not talking about money, I am talking about time and energy and emotion. Many people to day fall down when life puts even the smallest "stone" in their path. The Heroes step over them or climb up on them to reach higher and do more. Some even stack up those stones for an even better look at where they can go and what they can do

  The people who, after doing the above, go out looking for ways to be involved in their Church and Community. I know several men and women like this and this is above and beyond the norm. Church Youth Leaders, Scout Leaders, Youth League Sports Coaches all giving up time and energy that they may have little of. I know working Mom's, working single Mom's, Grandparents raising Grandchildren.

   It seems that the way society is today has brought out the Hero in many people. Gone are the days when Mothers could stay home and raise their Children, the economy requires two incomes for most families. Grandparents who, rather than having the pleasure of helping their Children raise their kids, work a job and care for their Grandchildren, because the irresponsible parents can't or are not fit to. Single Mom's with sole responsibility for the care and well being of their Children due to some 'Sperm Donor's' inability to MAN-UP.

  I know people who 'parent', mentor, advise, shelter and LOVE those who have no one else who will or who is qualified. People who, although they may have struggles as hard or harder than others always have a smile, a positive word, offer others a laugh and encouragement this is Heroic.

  We must recognize and publicize these Hero's for the sake of our future generations rather than the decadent Sports and Movie Celebrities many try to emulate today. Money, Fame, Popularity and Beauty do not make us Heroes. some have those things but it is usually the invisible  qualities one has that make them Heroic.

PART THREE WILL BE ABOUT TWO SPECIAL HEROES.

"Here Take Mine"

Philosophical question: If people are too "dumb" to come in out of the "rain", must I give them "MY" umbrella ?

      I grew up being taught to always consider others before myself, I don't know if it was because my parents thought it was the "christian" thing to do or if it was just "natural" for them. My Mom was a wonderful and kind person, I seldom heard her speak "ill" of anyone, but it was really my Dad who set the example for this Philosophy in our house.

     As a teen, I sometimes saw his kindness for a weakness, he had friends and business associates who would suggest he take a harder line in business dealings etc. He would NEVER do anything which would bring harm to another or cause them a problem. I saw him put himself at a disadvantage more that once.

    It carried over to every aspect of his life. He was a big hunter, Deer, Bear, Pheasant, Turkey, Quail, Rabbits. Many times we would hunt with others and he would say "Son, you and I are going to go up this way and let them go there, they will have a better chance of finding something there and we might even flush something their way." I would often get angry when the day ended with others havering had a successful hunt and he and I with little or nothing. I was particularity disappointed when, the "others" often did not even offer to share, his response, "Son, we have been very successful in the past, they killed it and "WE" had fun watching them enjoy themselves." 

     My Dad worked a full time job, we owned a small restaurant which my mom operated, with my help after school and summers. We sometimes had others but it was mostly family. My Dad and a friend built and remodeled homes on the weekends as well. I have seen him let someone else take a remodel  job because he know they had no other source of income for their family.

    Through my life I have owned several businesses and tried to operate each as ethically as I could. Sometimes I would try the "no more Mr. Nice Guy" approach to life but somehow what was instilled in me as a child could not be suppressed. This has carried over to my personal dealings as well. I find myself, as we all do, frustrated with people who are deliberately helpless, unmotivated, lazy and have a habitual "Entitlement" mentality.

     I believe in and "preach" tough love,but, it is no easier for me than anyone else to apply it however. I have "family" who are victims of their own stupidity, I have tried to "educate" them in the event their problem was ignorance rather than stupidity, but alas, not so. 

If people are too "dumb" to come in out of the "rain", must I give them "MY" umbrella ?

 NO but I will Loan them one.